I Will Break Free

Sorry for the length, but it is necessary to explain the image and the meaning behind it.

I was debating this image for a while. I asked myself what is it I dream of the most for my future. Where do I see myself? What do I want to do when I "grow up?" -- the thing is, I couldn't get past the next few weeks, let alone the years until I solve and heal issues that have been long lying with me.

This piece of art may seem very strange to a person, but I wanted to express "myself" and the situation I currently am in, along with the light at the end of the proverbial tunnel.

I am sick. I have major depression and severe anxiety, along with insomnia due to other situations both health wise and personal that I am dealing with, such as a benign tumor that is wrapped around my lower spine and cannot be operated on due to it's risky location. It is a battle. Every day is a struggle to remain positive. I was diagnosed a year ago and to this day, I am still not "right". The old me is lost and I need to focus on creating and becoming that new me.

This image represents depression and a hope of overcoming the dark demons. I wanted to achieve something ultimately different in terms of depression and how people view it. For myself, I feel like I am a prisoner to my emotions. I'm not sure how to deal with them correctly so I tuck them away and try to be numb. Hence the rock and the woman who is caught within it's grasp. The net is around her, but on one side, she has broken free, the other hand is still surrounded by it, capturing her. The netting resents the anxiety I deal with - sometimes it is debilitating and traps me in this 'fear' so badly that I cannot go out the front door, meet with people on a social level, or do the things I once use to do. The darkness, the gray represent the moods that overcome me at times, sometimes literally blocking out all light. The water in front of her is impossible to see through, murky and dank, because I cannot look into the mirror at times - I'd rather hide. Nature surrounds me. I love nature, adore it - and yet at times, even though I am so close to it, I am stuck, unable to truly relish it's beauty for it is overshadowed by this dark cloud that is constantly with me.

And yet.. all is not lost! Within the darkness from the very tears she spills, buds a tiny new plant. New life that generates a small light. A beacon of hope and as she peers upwards, tears spill from one eye, but the other side of her face is touched with dew from the leaves above, a taste of life. Soaring high overhead are two hawks, free and reaching heights, offering the hope and the glimpse of a dream to attain for. With the splash of warmth from the sun, the dark clouds are ebbing away. And that is my dream. It is my dream for all people who "suffer" the same ills as me. While I aspire for so much more in life, I must first overcome this obstacle, one step at a time.

There is much more symbolism painted within the image, but the general idea of it is explained.

Stock used:

[link] Hawk
[link]
[link] - face
[link] - Sky


The rest - painted and or my own personal resources.

Thank you for taking the time to read.